Today my wife and I be married for one year,
and to tell you what it has been like to be married to my Kenyan Queen!
To start, I got out of an 8-1/2 year relationship to the last chance American woman to try marriage. That was 8-1/2 years too long, and never got married. I waited until I was 36 to finally get married, and have no previous children. Yes, I'm an American, but that will dissolve as time goes by, I'm now a “Kenyan By Marriage,” I don't regret it and loving every moment. I have been married for one year now, and what a roller coaster ride it has been. With INS, airfare, time it takes to travel, visiting new friends and new family members, eating better food than anything America has to offer you on a hot plate. Ugali a staple food - Corn Meal in the states, Chapatis - Tortillas in Mexico, Samosas - I have been told comes from India. Chapatis and Samosas are considered to be fast foods in Kenya. Riding minibuses to get around Kenya, they are called (Matatu's) instead of minibuses. This is the main transportation for Kenyans to get from one place to another.
After breaking up with my last American girlfriend in late 2005, I decided never again would I go that way even if it kills me. I wanted an African wife, knowing this from my younger past while living in my Native California; I have had an African girlfriend so to speak once upon a time. She treated me better then any woman ever had and I didn't know it at the time because I was only about 22 or 23. I didn't care for a serious relationship at that time. Looking back on all my past relationships, seeing how they didn't work out for me, I just kept trying for another American most likely knowing it would never workout. Never got married because they just didn't qualify to marry me. Some say I had too high of standards, but what is too high of standards for a man to be married? I will not speak for anyone else, but I will lay down the basics. No smoking, no drinking, not afraid to take a test for all STDs, life long marriage vows taken seriously, and not getting tired within the first 20 years and hear her say, “I Just Feel Like Being Single Again.”
There is always more to it than that; there are always two sides of the story. Right? But still, no American or other Western woman was able to fit those basic conditions. None! Even getting into deeper conversations to see what a Western woman would do in certain situations in our marriage. They all failed with their answers to the questions on serious issues. I will not get into details.
I don't condone people not getting married, but read the sufferings of these Western men at the dealings of Western women: NoMarriage.com
PLEASE NOTE:
“To the women who read this from the
UK, America, Canada, Japan and all the other Western countries?
I don't hate Western women.
I just would never marry one.
So, for the women of the West who are reading this don't feel bad, my mum is an American and I don't hate her.
It's just my choice to whom and what type of woman I wanted to marry.
I have already had my share of Western women criticising me for marrying my wife who is an African from Kenya.
As if African is a bad word or the competition just got that much stiffer for women in the West.
The fact is there is no need or reason to get angry or even insult our marriage.
Doing so is absolutely childish and grown ups need to start acting like grown ups!”
I have already had one African American woman last year in 2006,
got offended because I didn't marry an AMERICAN woman.
So, she decided to insult our marriage with this garbage:
1st Insult - “What,
us American women are not good enough for you?”
My reply - Well no, you're not!
2nd Insult - “So,
you had to go to a third world country to find an uneducated AFRICAN woman?”
My reply - WHAT THE F@#%?
I will not say the other things she had said to me, plus I will not repeat what I had to say back to her,
because my response was of disgust and much anger.
Getting to know my wife started out as a long distant relationship, and months of getting to know one another. It was good because being apart forces you to talk, and appreciate the time spent. This type of beginning is not for everyone, and I couldn't wait to see her face to face. One week before we were to get married, I arrived at the Jomo Kenyatta airport in Nai, which is short for Nairobi. There to greet me was my wife to be, her three brothers Kenny, Martin and Paul, friend Rose her boyfriend Robert, friends Penny and Kenyan rapper MC Patow. Before I met up with them, I had arrived at about 8:00 p.m. Friday, 7 July 2006. There must have been about a 100 Kenyans waiting for people outside, about 20 of them holding up signs with people's names. I stopped in front of the crowd at first and took a look to see if my name would be on one of those cards. I didn't see my name so I decided to proceed out the exit to the cabs. Where I immediately seen my wife's good friend Rose, I recognised her from hanging out with my wife during a few Yahoo! Chat sessions at their local Internet cafe. Soon after that I saw my future wife standing next to her. Without hesitation Evelyn ran up to me and squeezed my neck so tight as if she has known me forever. She was worried I would not show up and waste her time.
From the time I got off the plane and into the airport, to the time she held me, I knew Kenya was way different then the states. I mean I already knew, but until you feel it inside you really don't know how different it really is. The love was like nothing I felt before. To start, when I was going through the visa checkout, the Kenyan airport employee had asked me like she does everyone who goes through. “What are you going to be doing while staying in Kenya?” I'm going to get married.
Well she had a straight face at first, but when I said I was going to get married, she changed to a very warm and welcoming smile. Then she asked me; is she Kenyan? Yes, and she is waiting for me outside that door somewhere. Her smile went from a warm smile to an excited smile. I mean she was happier for my wife and I than any of my friends or my parents back in the states after I told them I was married. This kind woman was a stranger and she helped to kick start my trip with a bang in my book. Who ever you're, I thank you for your warm welcome into Kenya. You never get that kind of service in America, because we're just too mean to treat people with that kind of respect. What a shame, the things that Americans can learn from Kenyans to help our Babylonian society.
One of my biggest fears was that Kenya would be so transformed to be like America. Thank God it's not, and I will pray that it never does. We stayed the first night in Nai, and then headed out to Nanyuki the very next morning. Arriving in Nanyuki and looking at the buildings reminded me of Mexico. Mexico is a very warm welcoming country too, but to me Kenya is even nicer. It was a place back in time for me in a way seeing how most people walk, because most Kenyans can't afford to buy a car, you get to engage with people much easier when walking together on the streets. Not that I didn't want any Kenyans to have a car, but the interaction with people in public is nice.
I knew a lot of Kenyans was going to stare at me in public. Being curious about Mzungu's never seems to end in Kenya, but who cares, Kenyans are warm with hospitality and it shows. I was walking with my wife and her brother Martin passing the Nanyuki General Hospital, when a truck driver was looking back at us and not paying attention to what was a head of him. My brother in-law told him to keep driving before you crash and it was pretty funny. He was more curious about us then his destination. The children are wonderful. If you were upset about something and went outside to cool down, just the kids looking at you or saying something would make you smile and forget what you were upset about. Just seeing how the children are in Kenya makes you feel like life is worth living, no joke. Sorry, but you don't get that when you see American kids in the streets, there is too much tension in America along with bad attitudes. America teaches their children how to be cold hearted towards others.
My wife's flat was small and she was a little worried I would expect more. It was no problem to me. I have had less in America in my past then what she had now. I met a lot of new friends and meeting with the men of the family to talk about her dowry. It was better than I thought it would be and I had no problem doing it. In America people think of dowry as buying a human, it's sad on how wrong they really are. They don't know that years ago there use to be a dowry practice throughout Europe and is long lost do to lack of culture in the West. When they read dowry in the Bible most don't even think of the word or know what it even means.
Our wedding was to take place 14 July 2006 at the Nanyuki courthouse. We married and had a big wedding reception at the “Lions Court Lodge” where we took many photos, ate great food, met many people, cut the wedding cake and received many gifts from friends and family. I tell you, this was the best day of my life, and I'm glad I waited so long to get married to my Kenyan Queen. She has made me a better man, and she is very respectful of herself, me, and of others. She is intelligent, fun, loving, understanding and hardworking. Not to mention she is more than qualified to meet my marriage standards. I only thank God that we had met and will not give anybody else the credit for making our wedding become a reality.
Now I was in Kenya for 20 days and had to head back to Spokane, Washington. Man six months went by so fast but seemed long. I was getting documents among other things to get her visa approved by INS. I hired an immigration lawyer in Minnesota, who had helped her two cousins that live there now. I had everything ready so it seemed before I was to take off to Kenya for a second time, this time for two whole months. While in Kenya, my lawyers (law clerk) had made too many mistakes, and there was nothing I could do until I got back from Kenya. So, her I-129 and I-130 forms had to be delayed for a whole four months, and she made few more mistakes when I finally did get back. So, INS didn't receive my petition until the second week of May 2007. I'm crossing my fingers that she can be here before the end of the year here in 2007. Kenyans, never hire the lazy immigration lawyer that I did if you're in Minneapolis / ST Paul, Minnesota. If you need to know who he and his firm is just contact me, so that you will not make the same mistake I did hiring him.
Today, 14 July 2007 is our one-year marriage anniversary and we have to spend it apart. It's hard for both of us. I feel for any couple that has to go through this agony of separation. I wrote this today before I called my wife on her mobile to say happy anniversary it has been one year.
Plus talking about this is just another way to keep myself busy, and letting everybody know, I guess that, I'm human, and I have a life with responsibilities just like everyone else. Thank you for anyone who has actually taken the time to read my sob story. Cheers!
Meet Kenyans Administrator
Photos: Copyright © of Meet Kenyans. All Rights Reserved.